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Monday, December 6, 2010

This is not a status!

So, where were we? Umm.. nowhere. So lets start from scratch.

Well a few friends of mine are complaining that they are a little perplexed for i haven't changed/updated/upgraded my facebook status for a long time and they miss the witty one-liners that i used to plagiarize from a few concealed and well-kept-secret-types sources.
There is some substance to these complaints too. I indeed have missed a few deadlines, when it comes to changing/updating/upgrading my status. But there's a solid reason why.
Not long ago, I used to put anything and almost everything that i felt like on my status bar. The world would know in a jiffy about the color of my new socks and the obnoxious smell emanating from my older ones or the size of my new oversized boxers and the safety pin i had to steal from my mom's cupboard in order to set them right. But soon i realized that updating such utter nonsensical vilifications can do certain things to your personality that i guess you wouldn't be too excited about.
Imagine reaching college one day and the professor asking you what took you so long to and and then a chap from the back bench promptly prompting that you were probably adjusting your underwear and had some unforeseen trouble with the safety pin, or worse still the professor himself kept a watch on your status update and those fateful word's came from his mouth and not of that of the back bencher's! Yeah, i know how pathetic it'd feel.
Fortunately, none of these has happened to me.
But it might had. And it was my moral obligation to ensure the dignity and prestige of my morality.
But alas!! Not all people are as introspective as your truly.
There is a girl, say Q(omg she's so lame),in my friends' list who posts all her college's updates on her profile. She intends to tell X people that teacher Y has asked for some work Z to be submitted by date (shit!! Z was the last letter) D. But since the number of people reading her status update, E, are very large(E>>X), she ends up getting F curses(of course not on her profile, and F is the number of curses and not a specific type of curse), G swear words and H frowning muscles per person. Obviously, F,G and H are very very large numbers.

But then there are some exceptional cases as well. There's a girl I(OMG she's so hot) who puts a Random Rubbish Update RRU on her profile K, and she gets M likes and N(omg i'll soon run out of letters) comments. Where, as you might have guessed, M and N are extremely large numbers.
But friends, yours truly, is neither a jackass like Q(omg she's so lame) nor as mirror-cracking as I(omg she's so hot). I'm just another man owning just another profile(i beg your pardon if this line seems vaguely familiar to you). And consequently, i've decided just to post "those" updates that are either as irresistible as my lust for I(omg she's so hot) or my mood is similar to the one i have when Q(omg she's so lame) posts the date of submission of the next assignment.

Nothing inbetween is acceptable!!

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