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Thursday, February 10, 2011

The article that wasn't published!

So finally Ajay Maken, the hon'ble minister for Sports & Youth affairs consented to be the chief guest
for the opening ceremony of Anugoonj. However, he wasn't the only person contacted by Team TracER
to do the honors. Here is an extract of our conversation with a few VIPs that we invited to cut the
ribbon.
Team TracER: Hello! Is that M S Dhoni?
MSD: Well! Of course. Its me. Who's this?
Team TracER: I'm calling from TracER, the newsletter for the annual cultural fest of IPU.
MSD: TracER? Oh. Just for a moment I was scared as, you know tracer reminds me of the tracer
bullets that the Steyn (and other)guns fired at us in SA.
Team TracER: Oh okay. So we were just wondering if you could be the chief guest for the opening
ceremony.
MSD: Well! Of course. You know, Gary just tells us to enjoy out there and play our natural game. And
that is what we would do. The wicket right now looks flat...
Team TracER: But MS, what has it got to do with our fest?
MSD: Well! Of course. This is my standard response to any question that is asked about my future
plans.
Team TracER: MS its one of north India's largest cultural fests...
MSD: Well! Of course. I'll toss a coin, if it a head, then I'll come and if its a tail then..beep..beep..beep
Unfortunately, after hearing this, our reporter disconnected the phone as he was well aware that there's
a better chance of having peace in west Asia than MSD winning a toss.
We then contacted Mr. Suresh Kalmadi, the president of the IOA and requested for his presence at the
opening ceremony.
Team TracER: Hello Mr. Kalmadi, we're TracERs.
SK: I told you not to call on my cellphone. I've had enough of you CBI people. I told you na that i'll
give you the details for every single penny that WE and not I alone, have spent for the games.
Team TracER: No no Mr. Kalmadi, we aren't from the CBI. TracER is the name of the newsletter for
Anugoonj, the annual cultural fest of GGSIPU.
SK: Oh! I knew I knew!! I was expecting a call from you(What??)
Team TracER: Oh that so nice of you sir. Could you please be the chief guest for the opening
ceremony?
SK: Oh you're from IPU! Your under-construction campus reminds me of the magnificent stadia that
we had just about put up for the games. Better than Beijing Olympics. Better than the Incheon Asiads I
must say. I think the village was like the one we had at Athens....
Team TracER: Sir...Sir...Sir, the fest?
SK; Oh! I forgot. Nostalgia, you see. I'll surely come. Just inform me if you need other equipments like
treadmills and stuff for the athletes. I have contacts, and you might just have get a great deal.
Team TracER: But sir Anugoonj is a cultural fest!
SK: Oh yes. You may want to contact Spectak, the company that organized the opening ceremony for
the games. What a ceremony it was! I still remember the cheers that I received. You might even get that
Aerostat if its still intact. I'll talk to Lalit(Bhanot) about it.
Team TracER:Oh sir that's so nice of you. But I guess we have everything in place. If you could just
confirm your presence...
SK:Oh my dear its not about.. Oh wait a min, I have a call. Just hold on.
(After 5 minutes) Yes, who's this?
Team TracER: Sir its, me from TracER.
SK: What the .... I told you not to call on my cellphone. I told you I've had enough pf you CBI
people...
Team TracER: No no sir! We're not from the CBI. TracER, the newsletter for Anugoonj.. remember?
We just talked about the opening ceremony?
SK:Oh! I knew I knew!! I was expecting a call from you..beep..beep..beep
Unfortunately, after hearing this, our reporter disconnected the phone as he didn't want to hear the same
cassette again(and also because he still had a grudge against the committee for the over sized shoes that
he received while volunteering for the games).
The reporter then threw his cellphone in the bin and decided to personally visit a few well respected
people and invite them for the ceremony. Mr. Maken was the first person to be approached, and he gave
his consent. No complaints, no demands!

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