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Friday, April 22, 2011

The weekly quote-shoot

Starting today, yours sincerely is going to write a weekly blog featuring the famous quotes of famous (or otherwise) personalities said during the week gone by. Yours sincerely will also try to tell you what they didn't say so that you wouldn't have as much difficulty in undestanding their quotes as they had in 'researching' for them on the internet. So, here we go.

i) Arvind Kejriwal:
What  he said: "No one's going to resign from the drafting committee".
What he didn't say: "Resignation is just fine, but the replacement might delay the bill. First, the civil society would choose a particular candidate with a decent track record. Second, the PM would google the name of the selected candidate to discover/invent true/false cases against him. Third, PM would speak to Mulayam Singh and Amar Singh to convince them to lend their voices again for recording another CD in return for stalling the CBI probe against them. Fourth, he'll tell his assistant to hire someone from the Sangeet natak academy who sounds exactly like the new representaive and will direct him to read out the script along with Mulayam Singh while Amar Singh records it. Fifth, all media channels would be sent a copy of this CD. Sixth, the Central Forensic Science Laboratory would certify this CD as non-tampered.
All this would take atleast sixth months and the monsoon session of the parliament would've given way to the winter session, with the Lokpal bill already kept in the cold bag".

ii) Digvijay Singh:
What he said: Santosh Hegde, Karnataka lokayukta and member of the drafting committee of the Lokpal bill, has been "ineffectual in curbing graft in Karnataka".
What he didn't say: "Instead of Hegde, Karnataka CM BSY should be in the drafting committee to provide first hand account of the possible loopholes in the bill which can be exploited by him to continue illegal mining in his state".

iii)Duleep Mendis, chief selector of Sri Lanka Cricket, on Lasith Malinga's request to withdraw his name from Sri Lanka's test squad for the tour of England
What he said: "It looks a bit awkward when someone says he's injured and continues to play (IPL)".
What he didn't say: "Of course son! I have no problems as long as the word "Mumbai" is still a part of the name of the team that you're playing for".

iv)E Sreedharan, chief, Delhi Metro:
What he said: "In order to avoid the kind of crowds we see in the metro these days, we've decided that all the new metro trains on the new routes would have nine coaches".
What he didn't say: "In order to cut down the costs owing to starting and stopping the metro at each station, we've made the train long enough so that it stops once every two stations".

v)Abhishek Bachchan
What he said: "I can't hide a pregnant Aishwarya"
What he didn't say: "But if "Dum Maro Dum" also bombs at the box office, then I can certainly hide behind her". [what an idea sir jee]

vi)Prakash Karat, chairman, CPM politbureau
What he said: "We strictly oppose the Jaitapur nuclear plant, which would be the biggest in the world as Nuclear technology is still untested".
What he meant: "How can we make such a hazardous power plant in Jaitapur? Jaitapur is an integral part of Maharashtra. Maharashtra is an integral part of India. And India is an integral part of China."

vii)Virender Sehwag, on the eve of Delhi's game against KKR in the IPL
What he said: "I'm not worried over Delhi's no-show"
What he meant: "All I'm worried about is my own bad form with the bat and KKR's good form with the ball".

viii)Sergio Ramos,on dropping the King's cup trophy which was crushed under the team bus's wheels during the celebration following Real Madrid defeating Barcelona in the final after 16 years.
What he said: "A misunderstanding, it didn't fall...it jumped off when it reached the fountain of madrid and saw so many madrid fans"
What he meant: "Someone amongst us shouted that Messi had jumped on to the bus to claim the trophy. Being a defender, it was my job to prevent him from scoring a goal. In the process, i ended up scoring an own goal".

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