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Thursday, May 5, 2011

The weekly quote-shoot [chapter 3]

Before I proceed, I mean start, I've to clarify a few things.
Firstly, I know its a Thursday, and this weekly bugle sounds every Friday, but you know its half past eight now, so there's every possibility that by the time I publish this post, the repeat telecast of Mukti Bandhan on Colors would've had its last dialogue delivered(those whose mothers are big fans of soap operas would know when this one finishes).
Secondly, I received a lot of feedback which had to do with the use of cricketing phrases and adages in my writing style. Buddies, I can't help it. This is one virtue(?) which you inherit(for free), born in an age which coincides with Shri Vishnu's kalyug's incarnation, Sachinavatar's , reign on earth.
Thirdly, and most importantly, my newspaperwallah failed to render a copy of TOI to me. Instead, he gave me HT. Now, I'm not too well versed with this particular paper, so pardon me if you discover that I missed out on lot of remarkable quotations which were published in TOI.
My last experience with HT was in eighth standard when I was caught stealing glimpses of Janet Jackson's peek-a-boo act with Justin Timberlake published in HT City, in my class. The consequent sequence of events made me feel like digging a hole and hiding in it.
I hope my second homecoming with HT isn't as bad as it was last time around.  So here I go
...

i)Arnab Goswami, editor, Times Now
What he said: "In the wake of the killing of Osama Bin Laden just 60 kilometres from Islamabad, the US must immediately stop all aid to Pakistan"
What he didn't say: "In the wake of the killing of Osama Bin Laden just 60 kilometres from Islamabad, people are actually tuning in to Times Now to listen to me for the first time.

ii)Gen. V K Singh, chief of Army Staff
What he said: "I would like to say...that if such a chance(nod for surgical strikes in Pakistan) comes, then all the three arms(of the military) are competent to do this".
What he didn't say:" Well of course! We're battle ready. In case the need arises, the Air Force will fly in the Seal Team from their Virginia base all the way to Mumbai. But you know how Mumbai is during these rains, so the navy would carry them from Marine Drive to Ghatkopar in a submarine and then the army would buy them tickets for the Rajasthan bound Thar Express from where those guys would carry it forward"!

iii) Deepak Mishra, special commissioner, Delhi Police, on the proposal to make PCR vans get a new look, colour
What he said: "The idea is to make PCR vans more visible and for that we're taking several steps. There's no point if a PCR van is parked by the road but the person in need is not able to recognize it"
What he didn't say: "Over the years, regular Traffic offenders spot the Traffic Police vehicles from far off, and then slow down. I hope than the converse of the above logic applies to them, so that our traffic policing business doesn't take a hit.

iv) E Sreedharan, chief, Delhi Metro
What he said: "In phase III of the Delhi Metro, the Airport Express line would be extended to Gurgaon so that Gurgaon Residents can also avail the facility of travelling to the airports faster than ever."
What he didn't say:"In phase III of the Delhi Metro, the Airport Express line would be extended to Gurgaon so that the Airport Express line can serve the Gurgaon residents too and can hence reach its newly recalculated target of 71 passengers per day."

v)Digvijay Singh, senior Congress leader
What he said: "Osama jee should have received his last rites as per Islamic traditions and rituals"
What he didn't say: "I'll miss you...boss...I'll miss you very much."

vi)Timothy Roemer, US envoy to India
What he said: "Pakistan must do more to fight terror"
What he didn't say: "This whole Osama fiasco makes one thing absolutely certain... forget about ordinary people and politicians, even terrorists are not safe in Pakistan."

vii)Daniel Craig, Actor (on him being a narrator for a show on History Channel)
What he said: "I have been incredibly fortunate to have been given a chance to play a small part in the process(narration)."
What he didn't say: "I told you! Ugly people can act. And now they can narrate too."

viii)Saurav Ganguly, on being selected to play for Pune Warriors
What he said: "They(the Pune franchisee) approached me, and I said yes"
What he didn't say: "Considering the position I was in, I didn't have too many choices. Considering the position they were in, they didn't have too many choices either.

ix) Virender Sehwag, skipper, Delhi Daredevils
What he said: "The lack of interaction between the foreign and local players hasn't been the reason for us under-performing this season."
What he didn't say: "I don't see too many reasons for us being so bad other than just batting, bowling and fielding poorly."




P.S: How's the new template?

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