Monday, May 16, 2011

The weekly quote-shoot [chapter 4]

Welcome to the fourth instalment of the weekly doze that features celebs who suffer from foot in mouth disease. As usual, I'll repeat the golden words said by the who's who and who's not who said during the past week, and will try to interpret what they actually meant to say.
Last week's newspapers were completely submerged by news from the assembly elections that took place in quite-a-few(someone please tell me the exact number) states. West Bengal saw the left see red after a record-breaking 34 years in power, while in Tamil Nadu, voters did what they were expected to do, vote out the incumbents for the sixth time in a row. Kerala turned out to be a cliffhanger, while Assam was a cakewalk for Gogoi. Plenty of things were done, plenty was said... if you missed it then, here are the highlights.

1)Mamata Bannerjee, CM elect, West Bengal, on NDTV
What she said: "I'll continue to live a normal life. I'm a common man"
What she didn't: "Living normally is just fine but I think I went a bit overboard by calling myself a man".

2)J Jayalalitha, CM, Tamil Nadu
What she said: "My cabinet would be very short and slim".
What she didn't: "Unlike me".

3)Rahul Gandhi, on the Greater Noida farmer's agitation
What he said: "After seeing the condition of these farmers, I feel ashamed of calling myself an Indian".
What he didn't: And the remaining qualms were cleared upon seeing Mayawati's face in person".

4)Jagan Reddy, son of late Andhra CM, YSR Reddy
What he said: "My victory in the bi-elections is a slap on the face of the Congress".
What he didn't: "Yes! One gone, 347 more seats to go till I become the CM".

5)Manmohan Singh, on the issue of India doing a US like operation on Pakistan
What he said: "We're not like the US. We will not do anything like this".
What he didn't: "By the time I seek permission from Sonia Ji and Rahul Ji, our Osama would have happily slipped out of the security radar"

6) Dominique Strauss-Kahn, IMF chief, on being accused of raping a maid at a hotel
What he said: "I have full faith in the judiciary. I will come out clean"
What he didn't: "Who's this Shiney Ahuja guy? He's been sending me commiseration messages ever since the news broke out".

7) Duncan Fletcher, coach, Indian Cricket team
What he said: "I'll refrain from following a dictatorial approach with the guys".
What he didn't: "The Indian media loves alliterations...Guru Greg, Guru Gary etc. But Dictator Duncan wouldn't be too great, eh?"

8)Shane Warne, captain, Rajasthan Royals,after the Rajasthan-Kochi game
What he said: "I want to apologize to the fans for playing so dismally in the game".
What he didn't: "I want to apologise to myself and to Watto for being stupid enough to play with these scumbags for four seasons in a row".