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Friday, June 8, 2012

MMS FACTS

After Chuck Norris facts and Rajnikanth Facts(also Chuck Norris facts), here come our very own MMS Facts.

1) Cancer has no effect on him. MMS suffers from only one disease, Policy Paralysis.

2) While the Japanese go around showcasing their prototypes, Robots have been in existence in India since 1932. MMS, by the way, turns 80 this September.

3) There are times when MMS has the loudest voice.

4) While most people have difficulty in listening in silence, MMS can speak in silence. 

5) MMS would have made a great Hollywood actor had he not refused the title role in 'Silence of the Lambs'.

6) There is no 'Ctrl' button on MMS' keyboard. For obvious reasons.

7) MMS can lick Sonia G's elbow.

8) MMS once had a photograph clicked with Baba Ramdev. It's caption is now taught in Kindergarten as Baba-Black Sheep.

9) MMS once won the Indian Idol using sign language.

10) MMS was made the PM because Pranab Mukherjee got bored of his initials.

11) The shorthand version of the famous adage 'form is temporary, but class is permanent' is called '1991'.

12) Ventriloquism was a dying art. Then MMS came along.

13) Not may people know that MMS had a cameo in Will Smith's 'I am Legend'. But of course, he played Mike, the mannequin.

14) Like every one, MMS also has a soft corner. It's called 'G Spot'. As in 2G, 3G, Sonia G, Pranab MukherG...

15) Sonia G, Mamta G and MMS were once offered to do a TV Series together. Mamta G refused. These stupid Americans now call it the 'Two and A Half Men'.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

The wrong that is to be right

In Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand, who for a long time I thought was a male, highlights everything that's wrong with the modern world; none more than the habit of sneering at people who are good, mostly better than us. Ours is a society which harbours mediocrity and shelters and supports the middle-rungs. People below par, usually, and expectedly, get the wooden spoon. The outstanding ones, those who produce the silver for the silver spoon, however, receive platefuls of of jibes and sarcasm. They are accused of being selfish, if you can call that an accusation, of being callous and even inhuman. Even in the industry, the mediocre ones receive continual, albeit, gradual increments, while the A-Listers hit the corporate ceiling too frequently, and too soon. Surely this is jealousy at work.

I believe it all arises from vanity; the primordial belief that each of of us is the best and some other person's best is worse than our best. If not, then our best case best is, or has the potential to be, better, than his best.
And then, reality strikes. We realise that our best-ness isn't as good as we thought it is or can be. Then begins the process of proving this realisation false. The topper of the class then becomes the incessant sycophant, the hard worker- the nerd, the jack of all trades- the most obscenely talented and finally, the most successful-the luckiest. Even if this isn't enough, then begins the round of unusual out-of-domain-esque comparisons. Cricketers are scrutinised for their vernacular, the linguists for their looks, the actors for their educational qualifications, and the scholars for their fitness and shape; thereby forming a vicious circle of irrelevant discriminations. We then start finding faults; debugging. If someone builds a gravity dam, we discuss the advantages of arch dams and the economic viability of barrages. If someone scores a perfect ten, we analyse the flaws in the education system and approaches to make it more 'practical'. If a player scores a century, we question the quality of opposition and the placid nature of the 22-yards. The metro, by the looks of it, is always more frequent on the other side.

The middle-rungs have always had numbers on their side. Majority is usually mediocre. Hence, the mediocre have the major say. They select during elections, among themselves, resulting in mediocre lawmakers. The laws they make are mediocre. The result? More mediocrity, and yes, decadency.

Alas! There is no cure. For those who should cure, are being victimised, with those who can cure, playing perpetrators.
There may be light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel seems a bit long though.