A few committees' names have been willfully omitted. The
author is fully aware of their existence and activities. He just can't remember
their names.
The following might well be seen as a display of the
author's frustration at not being selected for any of the committees.
Students' Council
What it does: Organizes an annual booze party where alleged
couples get drunk and allegedly puke in each others mouths while kissing
What it does not do: Hehe! They do everything, and
that includes undo
Why should I join Students' Council? I want girls to
see me as a quintessential jack-of-all-trades who has fifteen hundred friends
on Facebook
Placement Committee
What it does: Threatens to put your counterfeit
signatures on the 'I voluntary opt-out of the placement process because my
father's name is Steve Ballmer' letter since you turned up at McKinsey's
pre-placement talk with your mustache half a millimeter longer than the
prescribed limit
What it does not do: Live and let live
Why should I join Placement Committee? Hehe! The
answer is a no-brainer: I am a no-brainer
Cultural Committee
What it does: Keeps a watch on occasions when men wear
Kurtas and women, Sarees and they all
make Rangolis and take a lot of photographs
What it does not do: Work when the photographers are
away
Why should I join Cultural Committee? I want to
showcase my skills at (posing with) the guitar
Backwaters Committee
What it does: Organizes Backwaters, the annual
Management fest; a strategy to print more and more t-shirts, most of which are
shipped back home, while the others are worn on a use-and-throw basis on every
Monday till the next year's fest
What it does not do: Print enough XL and XXL size
t-shirts
Why should I join Backwaters Committee? It has the
most members. Free-riding time!
Industry Interaction Cell
What it does: Invites Ashish Nehras to advice budding
batsmen on how to improve their footwork
What it does not do: Provide certificates (of
excellence from Munaf Patel School of Fielding at Gully)
Why should I join Industry Interaction Cell? Damn
the Placement committee for not selecting me! I will now eat into their market
share.
Alumni Committee
What it does: Pesters the alumni
What it does not do: Provide butter-chicken at
Sangam, the annual alumni get-together
Why should I join Alumni Committee? To extract
useful information like details about previous years' end-term question papers,
right from the horses' mouths
Media Cell
What it does: Supplies newspapers to dorm rooms
What it does not do: Supply the above in time and on
time
Why should I join Media Cell? I get a feeling of
immense pride when I see my Director's article on the the 11th page
of Economic Times, right beneath Arindam Chaudhary's life size
photograph.
Sports Committee
What it does: An offshoot of Placement Committee, it
lures Sports Management firm to come for recruitment
What it does not do: Purchase strikers and queens for
the carrom boards kept in the common room
Why should I join Sports Committee? I'll get to eat at
McDonalds' when I go to Bangalore for the inter-IIM sports meet.
Social Services Group
What it does: Organizes movie screenings for Mess
workers and their children
What it does not do: Show the mess workers better
films, thereby motivating them to prepare better food
Why should I join Social Services Group? While many
of my comrades have worked for the government, my CV will stand out as I
am working for an NGO.
Marathon Committee
What it does: Organizes an yearly marathon and
encourages narcophilic and alcoholophilic students to run for
causes like substance and alcohol abuse
What it does not do: Invite Kenyans and Ethiopians
Why should I join Marathon Committee? To give the hapless sponsors a 'run for their money' while 'taking them for a ride'
MadCom (Merchandise and Design committee)
What it does: Sells, at exorbitant prices, substandard cutlery, fabric and paper bearing the institute's insignia
What it does not do: 4P's
Why should I join MadCom? The 'Jago Grahak Jago' campaign never really appealed to me.