Monday, September 17, 2012

The K Files: The 'Committee'ment

A few committees' names have been willfully omitted. The author is fully aware of their existence and activities. He just can't remember their names. 
The following might well be seen as a display of the author's frustration at not being selected for any of the  committees.

Students' Council
What it does: Organizes an annual booze party where alleged couples get drunk and allegedly puke in each others mouths while kissing
What it does not do: Hehe! They do everything, and that includes undo
Why should I join Students' Council? I want girls to see me as a quintessential jack-of-all-trades who has fifteen hundred friends on Facebook

Placement Committee
What it does: Threatens to put your counterfeit signatures on the 'I voluntary opt-out of the placement process because my father's name is Steve Ballmer' letter since you turned up at McKinsey's pre-placement talk with your mustache half a millimeter longer than the prescribed limit
What it does not do: Live and let live
Why should I join Placement Committee? Hehe! The answer is a no-brainer: I am a no-brainer

Cultural Committee
What it does: Keeps a watch on occasions when men wear Kurtas and women, Sarees and they all  make Rangolis and take a lot of photographs
What it does not do: Work when the photographers are away
Why should I join Cultural Committee? I want to showcase my skills at (posing with) the guitar

Backwaters Committee
What it does: Organizes Backwaters, the annual Management fest; a strategy to print more and more t-shirts, most of which are shipped back home, while the others are worn on a use-and-throw basis on every Monday till the next year's fest
What it does not do: Print enough XL and XXL size t-shirts
Why should I join Backwaters Committee? It has the most members. Free-riding time!

Industry Interaction Cell
What it does: Invites Ashish Nehras to advice budding batsmen on how to improve their footwork
What it does not do: Provide certificates (of excellence from Munaf Patel School of Fielding at Gully)
Why should I join Industry Interaction Cell? Damn the Placement committee for not selecting me! I will now eat into their market share.

Alumni Committee
What it does: Pesters the alumni
What it does not do: Provide butter-chicken at Sangam, the annual alumni get-together
Why should I join Alumni Committee? To extract useful information like details about previous years' end-term question papers, right from the horses' mouths

Media Cell
What it does: Supplies newspapers to dorm rooms
What it does not do: Supply the above in time and on time
Why should I join Media Cell? I get a feeling of immense pride when I see my Director's article on the the 11th page of Economic Times, right beneath Arindam Chaudhary's life size photograph.

Sports Committee
What it does: An offshoot of Placement Committee, it lures Sports Management firm to come for recruitment
What it does not do: Purchase strikers and queens for the carrom boards kept in the common room
Why should I join Sports Committee? I'll get to eat at McDonalds' when I go to Bangalore for the inter-IIM sports meet. 

Social Services Group
What it does: Organizes movie screenings for Mess workers and their children
What it does not do: Show the mess workers better films, thereby motivating them to prepare better food
Why should I join Social Services Group? While many of my comrades have worked for the government, my CV will stand out as I am working for an NGO.

Marathon Committee
What it does: Organizes an yearly marathon and encourages narcophilic and alcoholophilic students to run for causes like substance and alcohol abuse
What it does not do: Invite Kenyans and Ethiopians
Why should I join Marathon Committee? To give the hapless sponsors a 'run for their money' while 'taking them for a ride'

MadCom (Merchandise and Design committee)
What it does: Sells, at exorbitant prices, substandard cutlery, fabric and paper bearing the institute's insignia 
What it does not do: 4P's
Why should I join MadCom? The 'Jago Grahak Jago' campaign never really appealed to me. 


  1. With Malice Towards None and All
    A committee member is more equal than others

  2. me likes it :) n so true still :)

  3. Very interesting indeed .... :D