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Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Cleanliness is Godliness

17. 17 days have gone by since the cheta who cleans my dorm room last showed up. I remember his face. Vividly. Mid 40's, balding and spectacled. Of all the looks, his was an intellectual's. Had it not been for the broomstick in his right hand, I'm sure I would have confused him for some local guardian of a local student.
So he entered my room and, like always, got on with the work. First up was the balcony, then the hall and finally the bathroom. Cleaning the room of two 20 something men is no easy task. First, there are these hairs lying all over. Uniformly. Unlike girls', ours are the smaller, thinner and loner kind. You'd hardly see them in strands. Spotting them and mopping them up is, therefore, very difficult. Then there are these empty soft-drinks bottles, bigger and longer, but irksome all the same. Others include rolled newspapers, umpteen pairs of socks, paper cups, stationery and other stationary floor-dwellers.
Cheta, though, never complains. Part and parcel of the job, I suppose. 20 minutes and he was out. My room, new as ever. He made his usual paramilitary salute, bowed and left.
I haven't seen him since.
17 days! I can see these dense spider webs around every empty cola bottle positioned underneath my table. Sometimes I see spiders feed on the remnants of pepsin inside these bottles. I suspect a pepsin overdose might alter their DNA. What will happen if they bite me while I'm asleep. Will I become Spider-man?
Even the fan blades are in desperate need of a fairness cream. Whenever the cries become too loud, I switch it on. It comes at the small price of spending the entire night awake, shivering.
And then there is this tiffin box lying under the wash basin. I remember ordering Butter Chicken one day. Or was it Pepper Chicken? Confused. The remains can still be found in the tiffin, though. Had it not been for my hypersensitive nostrils I would've surely confirmed and cleared the air. Clearing the air, yes, that's what this is about.
Finally, the bathroom. Three days ago, I saw my footprint in the bathroom, right underneath the shower. It was still there this morning. I swear to God that I take a bath everyday. Yes, yes, in the same bathroom. Yes, yes, under the same shower.

You know the problem now. So if you happen to pass by my cheta, please inform him that I miss him very much and that his services are urgently required. For cleanliness is Godliness and the guy who cleans the room, is God.
 
Merry Christmas!

Regards
Vikas
Room No. 225, Hostel L2

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