Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Decisions, decisions

Staying in a single room can be tricky business. When you share your room with someone, your decision making also takes into account how you wish to be perceived as. But it's when you're all by yourself that things start getting interesting. For starters, all decisions are unilateral. Decisions have outcomes and outcomes, like always, carry trade-offs. Here's a look at the various decisions that we face daily:

  • Where to hang your undies? 
Sounds trivial, almost embarrassing. But then, given the time arbitrage of just over 3 minutes that exists from the time you take your bath to the time the morning class begins, the decision becomes really crucial. Put it in your balcony and you run the risk of being ridiculed as the guy who brandishes his undies, hang it inside your room under the fan and you get labelled as the one who lives in and lives out of his undies, and hang it in the unventilated lobby and end up wearing the same filth for two days (usually more).

  • To break or fast? 
To be fair, it's not the act of eating breakfast, but its prerequisites which make the decision making really difficult, for breakfast requires sacrificing 10 minutes of the heavenly early morning sleep and 5 minutes of brushing your teeth (includes the transit time to the restroom). At stake is probably the tastiest meal of the day as a virtue of the least human involvement that it requires.

  • Bolt or Usayn'bolt?
(First, wipe that grin off your face!) Probably the biggest and the most frequent decision that you make is whether to bolt the door or not. If you crave for your own little space, then perhaps bolting the door is probably the best alternative, for privacy is the only reason you chose a single room over a shared one. But then, you don't wish to be perceived as someone who does porn all the time, don't you?

  • What to wear while coming back from the shower? 
Holy cow, this one's a toughie! If you're comfortable brandishing your tummy and showing off your chest hair, nothing like it. But for the majority who isn't, the decision is what exactly to carry to the bathroom. The towel is an automatic selection. The rest is a trade-off between what can potentially drop in the bucket or on the wet bathroom tiles versus the odds of a person of the opposite sex turning up in the corridors on your way back

  • To knock or knot? 
What exactly do you do upon reaching the door of your friend? Do you waste time by knocking or do you simply barge in like you do in your own room? If you're the one who knocks, then you give your friend the impression that you think the two of you are the best of friends, for hey; best buddies don't knock, okay?  But then, you don't want to see your friend going through the discomfort of hurriedly shutting the lid of the laptop or instantly taking his hands out of, what appears like, his pockets?

  • How many alarm bells ringing? 
I know, it's been a while since the snooze button was invented, but then do you really trust your judgement in matters as serious as sleep? In how many different devices you do actually set the alarm in? How many alarms do you set in all? What is the interval between each alarm? How many minutes before your class does the first alarm go off? How many minutes before your class does the last alarm go off?

  • How to face the book? 
Admittedly, the least frequent of decisions, but then its importance can certainly not be ruled out. Where do you study? Do you keep the book on the table and sit on the chair? Do you sit on the chair, keep the book in your hands and your feet on the ground? Do you sit on the chair, keep the book in your hands and your feet on the table? Do you keep the book in your hands, the hands in the air and your back on the bed? Do you keep your front on the bed, and sixteen-hundred possible combinations of the book and your hands?

  • When and how often to do your laundry? 
How much is too much? When exactly do you do your laundry? Do you do it on a periodic basis, or do you wait for your entire closet to reunite in the laundry basket? 
There's also this added constraint of availability. Given your schedule, if you believe Friday night is the best possible time to do your laundry, believe me, 50 other people of your dorm believe exactly the same thing. Chances are that even if the machine is working, it will not be available.

  • Where to bin the garbage?
The answer is naturally the study table, but then there are other equally potent contenders. You might stack them in the closet if you do not wish to be perceived as someone who puts all his junk on the study table. You may put it under the bed if you do not wish to be perceived as someone who puts all his junk in the closet. Last but not the least, throwing it out of the window is also a possible option. For heaven's sake though, avoid being labelled as someone who puts all his junk in the garbage bin. That is so not cool.

If you have further questions, or answers to the above questions, feel free to comment!